Hustle

PARALYZING FEAR

Just like Andrel in his last blog post, I have also started my rebuilding phase. I’ve taken a leap to switch from being part of an in-house communications and marketing team to being part of a marketing communications agency. The last two jobs I’ve had have been an absolute blessing. I would not trade the experience. The autonomy to practice what I learned is not something many get right out of university. I was given the opportunity and space to apply my knowledge and explore my skills. There was nothing to complain about: comfortable job, great work environment, amazing benefits and perks, and reasonable pay. My opinion was valid and my thoughts were important. It would have been easy to settle in and call it a day. 

So, what made me flip the switch and trigger my rebuilding phase?It’s been a busy year for us. I spent half of the year planning our wedding, then we finally got married in July. We moved into our newly purchased home, then we decided it was time for Andrel to change jobs. After all of that, we were comfortably sitting in the month of October. At the beginning of the year, Andrel talked about our new year tradition in a blog post (2 Ways We Set The Tone For Our Relationship in the New Year). I’ll be completely honest: We’ve failed to do our quarterly check-in the last two quarters, which has made it fairly easy to forget what we set out for ourselves. As I looked over the list of goals I set for myself, I was impressed that I was able to accomplish a little over half of them without any of the accountability our check-ins provide. But as I looked through the rest of my goals, I quickly realized that I was getting a little too comfortable. I have an end goal in mind when it comes to my career. I outlined steps I needed to take this year to get me closer to my end goal. Unfortunately, I had made no progress on those steps. And it was already October.

It was easy to justify my lack of progress: I’ve been busy. All of that busy led me to this moment in October. But I wasn’t busy anymore. So then, it was easy to make excuses: Andrel just started his new job that required him to take a pay cut, accept a smaller benefits package, work longer hours, and endure a steep learning curve. I couldn’t do the same right now because we needed the stability. The reality is, we would be able to continue living comfortably, even with the possibility of two pay cuts. We would both be working longer hours, but our commutes would take less time. And avoiding a steep learning curve is stupid of me if we’ve committed ourselves fully to making sure we’re constantly growing.

So, what was stopping me? It was fear.

Fear of leaving the known for the unknown. Fear of leaving the comfortable for the uncomfortable. Fear of leaving a place where I’m good at what I do for a place where I could possibly be the worst. What if I’m actually not good enough in the “real world”? What if it turns out I have absolutely nothing to offer and the “real world” sees that? I was happy with where I was. Like I said, there was absolutely nothing to complain about: It was a great job with reasonable pay, decent benefits, and amazing perks like being able to fly home to Toronto pretty often. However, as much as I was content with where I was, I knew that it was no longer getting me closer to my end goal. What was more important to me? Remaining stagnant and content or moving forward in my purpose towards progress and growth?

So, I took the leap. I’m trusting the process. I’ve entered my rebuilding phase. Because I never want to look back at this moment in life and realize then that it was the perfect time to jump. There’s always going to be an excuse, a justification, a reason to stop yourself from taking the leap. But remember where you want to end up. If where you’re at doesn’t get you closer to that end goal, what are you waiting for?

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