For those of you who follow us on Instagram, you’ll know that my loving boyfriend of nine years proposed to me almost two months ago. If you haven’t read my previous post titled, “The Journey to Marriage”, feel free to read it in order to understand why it took us nine years and why I’m relieved it took us this long. And just a heads up, you may want to stop telling Andrel words like, “Finally” or “That took forever!”. 🙂
Since my loving fiancée proposed, we have been in wedding planning mode. But for a short period before we delved into calling, requesting, and booking, we had a few conversations. Having a conversation about the three following topics before actually starting to plan the wedding will help the process go smoothly and efficiently. And hopefully, with less arguments.
Before Andrel even proposed to me, there were two things I made him aware of: (1) I wanted to be engaged for a year because (2) I needed a full year to plan our wedding. Granted, we’ll be engaged a little over a year, but I am grateful for the extra month he gave me because I didn’t take into consideration that we are essentially planning a destination wedding. Anyone who knows me knows how thorough I am when it comes to planning and organizing things. My coworkers make fun of the amount of coloured pens and sticky notes I have just so I can colour coordinate my planners and calendars. I’ve always known that the one year timeframe would give me enough time that I can manage my stress levels and my expectations.
Timeline is such an important thing to discuss. A lot of people underestimate the stresses of planning a wedding, no matter how big or small it will be. There are some of us who can plan an entire wedding in a short amount of time without breaking a sweat. (Kudos to you!) But then there are some of us (me included) who need a certain amount of time to plan the wedding without our stress levels going through the roof. Know your limits! Know which category you fall under and talk about it with your fiancée. Andrel knows how much of a perfectionist I can be, so he knew that there is a high chance planning this wedding will get brutal at times. Taking into consideration that I want this experience to be just as fun for him as it will be for me, I determined that I needed a full year to plan things to my standards, while also managing my stress levels enough that it doesn’t ruin the experience for him.
A wedding can get expensive fairly quickly, especially if you’re on Pinterest. Unless you’re rolling in dough, it’s likely you won’t be able to make every single one of your Pinterest pins become a reality for your wedding. Before we started calling for quotes or looking at vendors, Andrel and I discussed what our top 3 priorities are for this wedding. We talked about what details were important to us. Was it the food? Our outfits? Transportation? Wedding favours? There are so many details to a wedding that if everything is “important” to you, then you will be spending a lot more than you bargained for. It’s easy for things to get out of control when you don’t set the boundaries.
Depending on your capabilities, you and your fiancée need to figure out your top priorities. For Andrel and I, our top priorities were: (1) the venues; (2) a live band; and (3) a photographer and videographer package. I wanted venues that were beautiful enough on its own that I would have to do little to no decorating; Andrel wanted a specific live band to play at our reception; and we both wanted a photographer and videographer to capture the memories. Having a discussion to determine your top 3 or top 5 priorities opens the lines of communication between you and your fiancée about what’s important to each of you. It helps make the day special for both of you and not just one of you.
Budget was one of the more difficult topics to talk about. When determining your budget, you also have to determine where the cash will be coming from. I’ll share in another blog post the different options you can consider when determining the different avenues the cash may be coming from. In the meantime, you and your fiancée need to discuss what you can afford and what you’re willing to spend on the wedding day. It may be a bit easier once you’ve agreed on what your priorities are because then you know where most of your money will go and where you will need to skimp and save (maybe even DIY).
Now you’re ready to jump right in to the wedding planning! Stay tuned for future posts on our journey of wedding planning.